OK so it is 2010 wow not quite all the drama the sci-fi movies claimed it would be right? lol well another year another resolution. Last year I managed to acheive my goal . . . to gain as much weight as possible, I figured I couldn't NOT achieve that one. Everyone else tries to lose something or not to do something I chose to do something attainable lol. I was so stressed with the diagnosis of my son that it was actually easy as pie no pun intended. So I did it I gained like 40 or 50 lbs ok I say that like I don't know what I started at right haha I'm a woman we all know how much we weigh whether we fess up to it or not. So this year my goal is to lose all this hated weight. My goal weight is 135, well actually I'd like to be down to 115, but I think that might be pushing it. I better keep it realistic for one year. I'll lose the rest next year. I have a Dr. appt on the 20th to make sure it si ok for me to start exercising. I have a heart condition which is like most of my other conditions . . . there but unexplainable. I have an "atypical" irregular heart beat and they don't know why or how to fix it, but they say that it is not fatal, but I still worry so I get my semi annual EKG's and Echo's.
So anyway I began my "new lifestyle" today either way a little exercise and lack of soda and candy can't hurt too much, right? The bad part is I have to do it solo no help, chemically speaking. No caffiene or diet pills of any kind I got decaf green tea and thats about it. I am already starving and it hasn't been one day. I woke up and did 1 hour of yoga and 30 minutes of cardio on my Xmas present - a Gold's Gym elliptical machine on the weight loss program. I also did laundry and cleaned my closet a little of some of the boxes and organized a bit. I started the day well I had 2oz of pork loin and an apple for breakfast then I had a chicken sanwich plain on lo carb wheat bread and a few toritlla chips, I know but I was starving =( I'm terrible at dieting. The for dinner I had a chicken, rice and veggies. Lots of water and what do you know my mother who probably made me a crazy hungry junk food eater in the first place just walked in the door with my worst temptaion mint chip ice cream, my favvy dang it!!! I dont think I will make this one day let alone 1 year haha. Let my words be my conscience. My main problem is I was always tiny. I never had to watch what I ate then when I started having my heart problems when I was like 24 or 25 I began gaining weight. Not significantly because I was always a major exercise addict, but I had to start watching what I ate. I will do this, I can do this . . . sike myself up. I'll start tomorrow, just kidding, that was the old me haha.
Other things going on right now, my son is getting sicker, he has been nauseaus and had a headache, hiccups, fatigue, low platelets and wbc this last week or so. I feel in my heart he is getting sicker that is probably whby I am so stressed hence eating so much more than normal. Hopefully exercising again will help me to be strong when it comes to this emotioanl eating. I watched the movie My Sisters Keeper. Let's just say I shouldn't have. I cried through the whole thing. I can see my life right there. I also get very frustrated when I see pink everywhere for breast cancer research and awareness. Not that begrudge them a cure but I would like everyone to know more about Childhood Cancer as well. The designated color is Gold for pediatric cancer. I promise when I have more free time I will attempt to do something about it. Most brain cancers do not even have research on going they just use whatever treatment is available for the most common brain cancers. Well I will write more soon, this will hopefully be my venting point instead of that tub of mint chip!
Wishing everyone the happiest new year.
PS I ask for your forgiveness in advance if some days I seem like I am Bi-polar, a termianlly ill child will do that to you.
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